Becoming Her

Have you ever woken up one day and realize that everything you thought and felt growing up has changed?  Have you ever asked yourself this question?  When did it happen? When did I change?  When did I become her (or him)?  I'm talking about, When did I become my mom?

Rewind:
I am going to go back a littlebit to explain what I mean.  When I was a child my mom was aweful... She was the type of mom that made me do the stupidest things..  She made life hard on a kid... I mean, how dare she make me eat those yucky veggies, brush my teeth, do my homework..  The worst of things was when she made me clean my room.  She was a monster! 
                                            
                                                               
I remember when I would come home with a bad grade, talk back to her or just not do what I was told, she would ground me. Why would anyone do that to their child. She obviously didn't love me.  Did I mention how stupid she was? She didnt understand anything I was going through.  If she did she would have let me do what I wanted to do!  My sister was her favorite.  She was the perfect kid.. Mom gave her EVERYTHING... Why did she bother having me, she should have just has April first...  (April, you are not allowed to comment on this part).   When I have kids, I will show her how to be a parent.  I will do things differently.  I'll show her...






Fast Forward:

Now, I am a mom of 3.  I first noticed the change about 3 years ago.  It was a small thing really.  Taylor (age 13) came up to me and asked if she could walk around the mall with her friends. I said no.. I didnt even have to think about it.  This conversation became a big ordeal.  There was screaming. Then it happened:   

Tay: (yelling) "My friends parents let them do it"
Me: (yelling)  "I'm not your friends mother"  

I stopped immediatly after saying this and went to my room.  I caught my breathe and whispered to myself. Lord, Please don't make me start to think that she might be right.  My mom just cant be right.  Several things have happened since then that have been just as bad.  I make my kids eat their veggies, brush their teeth and do their homework.  And yes, I even make them clean their room.  I have been known to say "Because I said so".  When Tay responded that because is not an answer, I calmly explained to her that "I am the mom, and since I make the rules, because is all of the answer she needs.

So Mom, now, I am the stupid one. You really did know (almost) everything. I however, know nothing..  If you dont believe me just ask Tay...

Thats all it takes...

Flashing lights.  Screaming.

"Help me, Somebody, Anybody. Why arent you listening to me?"

"He's jammed between the car and the sign."

"We're going to have to cut him out"

"Get the oxygen on him"

"Has anyone seen my baby? Thats his car."

"Im standing right in front of you, why can't you see me? That guy is dead, I'm alive. Why aren't you helping me?"

"Wait! Is that me? How?"

"NO! This is not happening. How can I be there, when I'm right here?"

"This isn't right, I was careful. I stopped early."

"It was just a few harmless drinks"


*Bloggers note: This is my entry for @velvetverbosity 100 word challange. The word is harmless.
http://www.velvetverbosity.com/

Tattoos Anonymous

I think I might have an addiction.  This isnt something that therapy can help me with, not something that rehab can help with.  Its just something that has to be, something that I have to learn to live with.

Hello, My name is Deana and I am addicted to tattoos.

I got my first tattoo in October of 2008.  I was scared out of my mind. I hate, hate, and hate pain.  Lance reassured me that it would not hurt.  I told him that he was crazy.  I choose to get the chinese symbol for love on my right thigh.  I remember sitting in the chair, squeezing his hand and almost crying. Then the tattoo artist started. About 10 seconds after he started, I let go of Lance's hand and said "is that all?, That dosen't hurt."  I knew at that time I had to have another one.

                                                                

It took me awhile to decide what I wanted the next one to be.  I looked, and looked. Then one day I went to the tattoo shop with Lance.  I saw a beautiful butterfly that the artist had drawn. Thats what I wanted.  This one was placed between my shoulder blades. It had the initals of my three daughters on it.  I knew I had to have another one. 

                                                                         

I knew what I wanted.  I knew I couldn't afford it.  It had alot of detail.  I carried the picture around with me for over a year.  It was three flowers.  Two of the flowers are the same, with one bigger than the other.  They represent Taylor and Lyla.  They are alot alike.  The smallest flower represents Carly.  She is nothing like the other two.  The largest flower had Taylors favorite color purple around the outline.  The middle flower had Lylas favorite color blue shaded in, and the smallest flower has Carlys favorite color gold in the center.  I went to that tattoo shop that night expecting to just get something pretty and small. I showed the picture of my flowers to the artist and he said he would do it for less than half of what everyone else had quoted me.  As you can imagine, I was thrilled!  It was placed on my left shoulder.

                                                                           

I am already planning my next. Any ideas of what it should be?
Hello, My name is Deana and I am addicted to tattoos.

Fancy Awards and Such

Wow... I've never won anything before. This is exciting! Last night I was having dinner at Applebee's with my wonderful husband and I got an email from a new friend I met through twitter. Her name is Jana and her blog is http://janasthinkingplace.com/ .  The email said "click on this link I gave you an award". So thanks Jana! Now its my turn to return the favor.

The award is called the Stylish Blogger award: Here are the rules:

Here are my responsibilities:
1. Thank and link back to the blogger who gave you the award. (done)
2. Share 5 things about yourself.
3. Award 5 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.
So here are five things you’re all DYING to know about me.

1) I am a chef. I love to cook. I can take any recipe and change it into the yummiest thing you have ever tasted.  Try me: Tell me what you want to cook and I will send you one of my personal recipe's.
2) There are times when I am watching the Disney Channel and I look up and notice that the kids aren't in the room. Yes, I admit it.  I watch kids shows.
3) I cry over everything. Even commercials. The Publix ones are the worse. I start bawling as soon as they come on.
4) As of last night I have 3 tattoos! They are becoming an addiction for me. 
5)I have worked for a vet for 15 years now. (not the same one).  I love animals!


My bloggers I want you to check out that I’m awarding this prestigious award to are…

1) Bethy... http://raisingryder.wordpress.com/  She is a new mom to a handsome baby boy. She is learning as she goes and keeping a record of it! I know you will enjoy it as much as I do.

2) Melisa...  http://dreamersdream05.blogspot.com/ She is training to run the peachtree roadrace this July and she is keeping us up to day with her thoughts. The ups and the downs.  Enjoy!

3) John... http://counselorga.blogspot.com/ He is an actuall counselor and he writes alot on family and how to stay a family. He has a great point of view and he makes me think alot about the way I do things.

4)  June... http://juneinjanuary.blogspot.com/ . She is a wonderful woman with a terrific christian look at things. She is a very talented writer.

5) Tara... http://thinspiralnotebook.wordpress.com/ she's not new, but shes new to me! I look forward to reading her blogs as well as her 100 word entries.  I know you will love her!


Congratulations to all the winners! Enjoy your awards!

Really? Credentials?

                                                                                    

Ugh... The sound of the alarm going off couldn't have come at a worse time.  I have my best ideas when I'm sleeping.  As a struggling student, I need all the help I can get.  Mr. Cates, my pushy english teacher has decided we should become bloggers.  It dosent matter that I know nothing about computers.  One of his bright ideas is to have us do this silly 100 words blog.  He assigns a word that has to be used. This weeks word is credentials.   Goodness, I'm only in 8th grade. What will I ever use this junk for anyway?



Bloggers note: This is my entry in @velvetverbosity #100words challange.. This weeks word is credentials.
http://www.velvetverbosity.com/

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

 

Friendship, Love and all that globbery gloop.

I'm sure that everyone that's reading this has at least 1 friend or 1 person in their life that they love or have loved.  In this blog, I am going to tell you what I think makes a good friend. and what it really means to love someone. Think of it as a how to and how not to blog.

                                                                          
Friends:

I have had many friends throughout my 33 years. Some have been worth it and some I wish would have never been.  It would be easy for me to sit and list my friends from best to worst.  I dont think that would be wise.  I will, however, tell you the good and bad qualities of those friends... 
Lets start with good qualities.  I have 1 friend who is a great listener.  When I am being stupid, she says "Bo, you are being stupid".  When I do something well, she says " Good Job, Bo". When I am complaining she tells me to get over it and helps me solve the issue.  She doesnt hide behind pleasantries. She is honest with me to a fault. To me, this makes the best kind of friend.  I just hope I am as good of a friend to her.  I have other friends that are wonderful as well, they are loyal, honest and there when I need them.  I am lucky to have them all.
Now for the bad qualities.  I have witnessed this in my life and recently with people I see on a day to day basis.  Dont say anything negative about someone unless you are willing to say it to their face.  I have witnessed alot of "behind the back talking" lately.  You know the type, I will be your best friend today, but whisper, whisper to the other person how much that person screws up.  To me this is cowardly behavior.  If you dont want to be friends with someone, dont.  It will make everyones life easier in the long run. I would rather be upset now because someone doesnt want to be my friend than invest my time and get hurt.

                                                                              
Loves:

This one is easier than you think.. For couples: Do not lie or cheat.  I told my husband (and this wont ever happen) If you ever feel the need to cheat, just leave before you do it. I have been cheated on in the past and if the person who cheated had just left first, It would have made things so much easier.  Liars always get caught.  It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will happen.  Be sure of it.  When you do find that special person that you want to spend your life with, treat them like they are the most important part of your life.  That person deserves the best of you.  In return, they will treat you the same.  For families: be there for one another, do not judge, be patient and supportive no matter what.  The most important thing is to always be forgiving.  People arent perfect.  I have seen people push their siblings or parents off to the side and ruin those relationships.  In the end, when those people are alone (and they will be because blood is thicker than water) They will rethink their naive actions. Just hope its not to late.

                                                                   
Its important to just be kind... My mantra is " Treat others as you want to be treated"  People deserve to be treated as they treat others.  Its that simple.  How do you treat people?

Invincible, Just maybe...

                                                                           
A cough, it started with a cough...

Call 1:  "Mom, calm down,whats wrong"
            "They found a brain tumor"
            "How did a chest xray turn into a head tumor"
            "just get here"
             Silence....

Call 2: "This is Aprils sister"
           "I'm sorry, she rushed out, If you need any...
            Silence...

Call 3: I think I called work, maybe...

Walking into that room, I'll never forget.

"Hey, Hun... Everything will be fine..." He smiled to reassure me.

I spoke to the nurse.  She said my dad, the invincible, had stage 4 lung cancer and a brain tumor.

He had 6 months...
Silence...
          

*Bloggers note: This is my contribution to @velvetverbosity 's 100 word challenge at http://velvetverbosity.com/ . This weeks word is invincible.  I also wanted everyone to know that my dad is a survivor. Its been 7 years and he is still going strong.

Pets have feelings to

                                                                                 
Those of you that know me know that I love my family. I have three beautiful girls and a wonderful husband. There is 1 member of my family who dosent get mentioned as much as he should. My son Buddy.  Yes, he is of a different species, and yes he has 4 legs.  He is a golden retriever.  Just because he is a dog, dosent mean that he is any less a family member.  I joke that my husband would get rid of me and the girls before he would get rid of Buddy, but I think there is some truth to that. 

I have worked in the vet field for 14 1/2 years now.  I have learned that although there are many different types of pets, there are only 3 different types of owners.

The first type of owner I am going to discuss is probably the least common:  I feel like I am apart of this group along with a few good friends of mine. These owners arent owners, they are parents.  Their pets are their children.  As a mom of human children, I take them to have their vaccines as required. As a mom of a 4 legged child, I take him to have his vaccines as required. I feed him, love him and treat him like he is my child. He lives indoors with us, he eats 2 meals a day.  He plays outside an appropriate amount of time and he does not stay out in the rain or snow. Although he does have a very comfortable bed, he sometimes sleeps on my bed. Sometimes I think he acts like he dosent know what I'm saying when I tell him to move.  I think he uses the "dog" thing to his advantage.

                                                             

The next type of owner I'm going to discuss is the most common.  They are good owners. they feed and take care of their pets. The bring their pets to the Dr when needed. They have their family and their pet.  There is nothing wrong with this type of owner.  These pets are very lucky to have a family to take care of them.

I cant even discuss the next type of owner without getting a little sensitive so I will do my best. If you do not have intentions of caring for a pet the way it needs, you should not be a pet owner.  To many times I hear, "its just a dog". There is no such thing as a free pet.  Vaccines cost money (yes, they are needed. no, they are not invented for the vet to make money).  Alot of research time and money go into developing vaccines to make sure that your pet stays safe.  Its funny when I hear people say, "my pet never goes outside". I want to say in return "well, how did it get here then".  But I dont.  Something that people need to remember is that pets have feelings to. They hurt, they love, they cry and they cuddle. They dont deserve anything less that love and kindness.  They need to be treated like you would want to be treated.

                                                                                   
Just one last thing: If you have a pet, you need to love it. If you dont have a pet and feel that you could love it, there are many sweet loving pets that need homes. If you are not sure about keeping one long term, consider fostering.  A dear friend of mine is fostering the cutest little min pin I have ever seen. I would love to get you intouch with an adoption center or a rescue organization.  Please consider.

The Music Snob

If you know my husband you would know that he calls himself a music snob.  That is a fitting name for him.  Keep in mind that being a music snob does not actually make you smart when it comes to music.  Some of the music he listens to just isnt good.  Not to me anyway.  Thats the point of this blog.  Every song that you hear on the radio is a great song, to somebody. 

When I was young my mother was a country music fan.  I would have given anything to listen to anything besides Conway Twitty's "hello darlin".  I started listening to bands like Poison and Bon Jovi.  My mom used to tell me that their music was just a bunch of noise.  Maybe it was, but with some of their songs comes memories. 

Their are many things that go into making a good song. The Lyrics, the notes, the artists preforming. The most important quality that makes a good song is the memory it gives to someone.  Trisha Yearwood said it best with "The song remembers when".

As an adult, I am a fan of many genres of music.  When I am in the car, or alone I turn on the radio really loud and sing along to most of the songs. Country music is probably one of my favorites.  When I hear the classic country like Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton,George Jones, and Johnny Cash I smile because it takes me back to when I was a child. My mom and I dancing around the living room and having a great time. (I still do not like Conway)                                           

                                                                         

People laugh today when I tell them that I am still a HUGE New Kids on the Block fan.  I can still remember the first time I heard them.  The first time I saw their video on t.v was the day after I found out that my parents were divorcing.  Instead of moping around, I focused on the New Kids.  Listening to their music and concentrating on them, helped me through one of the hardest parts of my life.  They helped me through moving from Lilburn to Buford the summer before my 7th grade year, and starting a new school where I didnt know anyone.  So yes, I am still a New Kids fan.

                                                                        
I am just as guilty of making fun of people for liking certain music. My 14 year old LOVES Taylor Swift. I dont get it.  All of her songs sound exactly the same.  Her voice is whiny and she does not have very good stage presence. Yet, Tay still loves her.  So, I humor her and let her listen to her in the car and hang the posters up on the wall.  I know that one day she hear a Taylor Swift song and look back on a fond memory.

                                                                               
My niece Isabella LOVES Justin Bieber.  Ok. thats just wrong.  No good memories can come from that one.

I would love to hear a song that has a memory from you!

The behavior poll

Growing up I was always told "Treat others as you want to be treated".  Now that I have kids of my own, I try and teach them that same rule.  When I go out, whether it be to the grocery store or to visit friends, my kids are very well behaved. Now, please understand. My kids arent perfect, they act out. But they understand that when we are outside of the home, there is a way to behave.  They have learned this from 2 different ways. 1) From my words and 2) From my actions.  When they are out with me, they see me act like an adult and treat everyone I encounter with respect. 

Unfortunatly, not everyone believes that good behavior is important.  I'm not sure when it happened. Was there a new law passed, did the social etiquette that I was taught growing up get laughed out of exsistance? It seems that now, the proper way to act is as follows:

If you want something for free, bully the person or business you want it from.  In fact, I will walk you through the steps.  Walk into the business of your choice.  Tell the first customer service reps that you see that their policies do not matter to you because you know everything about their line of business.  Next, spend 30 minutes talking to them going over products and services you will receive.  After you receive those products and services, tell them in a very rude, hateful, loud voice that you will NOT pay for those services or products because you did not ok them. Next, tell them that their prices are extremly high and you are made of money. Last but not least, when the owner or supervisor come over to assist you, then smile and act like you are hurt that anyone would think you are being unreasonable. You would never act out like that.

Of course the above paragraph was entirely sarcasam, but people really do act this way. I saw a cashier get yelled at the other day because the guy buying cigarettes was upset that the price went up 10 cents. He yelled at her very loudly. This behavior confuses me.  It can't possibly make them feel better to make someone else feel aweful.  What does it accomplish? 

Please comment and let me know how you feel about this subject. I would love to have people from both sides answer so that I can have a better understanding.

That day

                                                                          

I didn't know that when they placed her into my arms 18 years ago, that it would hurt this bad. No one prepared me to feel like I was being stabbed in the heart.  I couldn't stall any longer.  I put the last suitcase in the trunk.  She looked at me with tears in her eyes.  There were so many words that we needed to say but she wanted to be on time for her first day of college.  She hugged me quickly and got in.  As I turned to go inside she yelled, "Mom, I love you". I wept.



Bloggers note: This is my 100 word entry for http://velvetverbosity.com/. This weeks word is stabbed.

going home

She was surrounded by an antagonistic energy as she continued down secluded dirt road. It had been twenty years since she last set foot into the abandoned old cabin that she grew up in. Cayla knew that the moment she arrived, the memories she had worked so hard to erase would come flooding back.  Standing there, looking at the home she once loved, she took a breath, closed her eyes and ascended the stairs. At that moment she felt a hand gently slip into hers.Thats when she knew that the spirit of her sister would always be her protecter.



*Bloggers note: This is my first entry for @velvetverbosity 's 100 word challenge located at http://www.velvetverbosity.com/