Tuesday, July 26, 2011

to much of the truth...

This is my 100 word entry this week.  A while ago I started writing a story through these entries and I would like to pick up where I left off.  Before reading this you might want to read my entries titled

The endless obsession :  http://mythoughtsonthesubjectareasfollows.blogspot.com/2011/02/endless-obsession.html 

The moment I knew:  http://mythoughtsonthesubjectareasfollows.blogspot.com/2011/02/moment-i-knew.html

Caught: http://mythoughtsonthesubjectareasfollows.blogspot.com/2011/03/caught.html

I felt my head spinning as I started to speak. Trying to find the right words to say at this very wrong time felt impossible.  She asked again.  "Who are you?"  I managed to whisper.  "Im sorry to worry you. You remind me of someone I lost 20 years ago. My.. " 
She interrupted me politely.  "Mam, You look like you are going to be sick." 
I guess its a myth that if you truly love someone you can tell them anything.  I couldnt seem to make my head, heart and mouth connect.  Now was my chance, and Im blowing it.
This is for http://www.velvetverbosity.com/

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Love built through drama...

Why is it that love comes when you least expect it? 

Have you ever known true love? I have.  Several different times with Severel different people. Ok, no its not what you think...

The first time I fell in love was the day my Taylor was born.  She changed my life.
The second time I fell in love was the day my Carly was born.  She helps make my life worth living.
 The 4th time I fell in love (I will come back to the 3rd in a minute) was when I met my Lyla.  She is my choosen one. My gift.

I met my 3rd true love in May of 2008.  He was sexy cute, sweet, loving and surrounded by drama.  I never imagined I would find some that was such a drama magnet like me.  Was it worth it? I couldnt be happier. 
We met through a mutual friend's myspace page.  On our first date (2 days later) we both declared to each other that we would NEVER get married again.   We had both been hurt to many times to count.  6 months later we were married.  Besides my mother and my In-laws we no longer speak to anyone that attended our ceremony.  Some of them we just lost touch, but the others are just horrible people. 

It seems like everywhere we turned there was drama.  People would do and say things that would cause us to argue.  but we were able to work through it.  Once we learned to put each other first things started to get better.  Its funny looking back at how fast the controlling "Crazy" people in our life started to drop out.  Now we listen to each other first.  We dont agree with everything the other one says, but we have learned to listen to each other.  Our marriage is stronger than its ever been.

Its amazing what love can do...

Monday, June 20, 2011


I know that I have written about this in the past, but as long as people continue to act ignorant I will continue to write about it.

I am going to walk you through my day...

The first person I checked in this morning walked in:  This is the conversation:

Me: Hi, what are you here for today?
Her: The works
Me: o.k. what are the works.

After a few minutes of her staring at me blankly and me trying to list all of our services she finally tells me her pets their for surgery.

A phone call:

Her: I would like to make an appointment
Me: o.k. whats your last name?
Her: My name is &&&&&&
Me: Can you spell that for me?
Her:  Yes, I can spell it.
Me: ( after a minute of stunned silence)  o.k. Can you spell it for me?

Next client: After checking in a drop off: the kennel staff comes up to take dog back. 
us: Hi, Im &&& and I am going to take your pet back
Him: Do you know how to put a leash on a dog with out killing it.
Us: Yes
Him: I will show you. You dont have any experience with show dogs.

Driving home from lunch I turn onto my road.  There is a teenage boy walking directly down the middle of the road with his earphones in.  I drove very slowly behind him because he didnt move. When I was able to pass him, he looked at me with a dumb look on his face.

To quote a wonderful speaker Megan McGlover: "People DONT BE STUPID"

Sunday, June 19, 2011

To my husband....

Happy Fathers day to the greatest man I know.....

Im breathing in and out slowly
trying to match the rhythm of your heartbeat.
Feeling as if I can hear you soul talking
f I listen hard enough

I close my eyes
submersing myself in this moment.
I close off the rest of the world
Just to hear your breathing

Your fingertips touch my skin.
As they run along my back
You give me sweet chills on my arms.

As you kiss the surface of my skin
you hold me closer to see if my soul is talking back.

I slowly open my eyes
and pray that Im not dreaming.
But then I see your sweet brown eyes staring back
and I cant help but fall in love all over again.

You touch my face and smile
while I sink deeper into your arms.
You bring your lips close
and gently kiss me with passion.

I am frozen for the moment
and continue to melt with your love that consumes me.
Every instant seems like forever,
and every embrace is one to remember.

For you.....

Saturday, June 18, 2011

a funny conversation.

My Children amaze me everyday! Last night Carly was laying with me for a little snuggle time and we had a very interesting conversation.  Enjoy:


Mom: I love you most. I wish you could stay little forever.....

Carly: Mom, you do know that things change right?

Mom: What do you mean?

Carly: Kids grow up and become grown ups and get their own house.

Mom: I know. I am just enjoying you being little.

After a minute of quiet I noticed that she was crying:

Mom: whats wrong?

Carly: When I move out I will miss you.

Mom: Well you will still get to see me all of the time.

Carly: I will really just miss you, I dont wanna move.

Mom: Well we will deal with that in about 13 years. But you can live with me forever if you want.

Carly: If I live with you where will my kids sleep?

Mom: (after laughing really hard) We will have to get a bigger house.

Carly: We can get a really big bead and you, me and the kids can snuggle.

Carly: Mom, how many kids am I going to have?

Mom: As many as you want.

Carly: I dont want 6 babys in my belly at one time.

Mom: I dont think you have to worry about that.

Carly: Good night mom.

Mom: I love you most. I wish you could stay little forever.......


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I struggle

I struggle. 
When I struggle, it hurts.
When it hurts, I turn it off. 
Turn off my emotions.
Depression is hard.
Perfectionism is harder.

When I struggle to be perfect, I turn in the opposite direction.
Try to lose weight, I gain.
Try to do my best at work, I get criticized.
Try to be a good mom, and a good wife.... I can only hope.
Try not to give up, I cant give up. 
Its not an option.
People depend on me. People believe in me.
People love me. I love them.

I struggle.
When I struggle, it hurts.

This is my 100 word entry for @velvetverbosity 100 word challange.