And there goes my baby.....

Wow... My heart just broke into a million pieces.  Carly, my 6 year old, just broke me.  Everyone always teases me that she is my favorite.  They say that I give her everything and use all of my attention on her.  That couldnt be further from the truth.  I love each of my children equally.  I treat all of my children the same.  What the older ones don't realize is that I baby them as much as they will let me.  I would give anything for one more cuddly hug with Taylor my 15 year old. One more "mommy, your the best" just because she means it, not because she wants something.  Lyla sometime will climb up in my lap and hug me, but most of the time she want to act like she's grown.  Almost like, "I will love on you, but dont let anyone see."  Carly, however, is my baby..

                                                                           

Well, apparantly she has decided that it would be ok to grow up.  This is not ok.  She can read now, and she seems to be developing this attitude of "I love you, but I want to do my own thing".  I told her the other day that I wanted her to stay this age forever.  She very quickly replied that it would not be a good thing if she did because when I die, there will be no one to take care of her.  What she did and said tonight, was the breaking point for me.  I asked her to pick up something and throw it away.  She said to me in return.." I do everything for you and you do nothing for me"  GASP........

When did this foolishness happen.  I got very upset and very loudly explained to her what exactly I do for her.  She then proceeded to tell me everything she thinks she does for me.  She plays with me, she cuddles with me, she gives me hugs and kisses all of the time... she listed these things like she did them out of pity for me.  I yelled some more... Taylor came out of her room, smiled and said "did you really just yell at Carly, you just made my whole week"  She acts like I never get on to Carly.  I have a feeling that I am going to be making Taylor really happy in the future.  Carly seems to be developing quite the attitude. 
                                                              

                                                                    
What am I going to do when I dont have a baby to baby anymore?  If you listen real closely, you will here the crumble sound of my heart....

But she said.....

                                                           
As I sat across from my son's kindergarten teacher, I felt myself growing anxious.  What could he have done to warrant this meeting?

"Mam, we had an incident today that we need to discuss with you.  James told me that he had a crush on his friend Kelly, and asked how he should handle it.  I told him to treat her like a gentleman, show respect and honor.  He ran outside and jumped on top of her knocking her down."

"James, What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Mom, I did just what she said and jumped ~on her~!"



This is my 100word entry for http://www.velvetverbosity.com/ .  This weeks word is honor.

Becoming Her

Have you ever woken up one day and realize that everything you thought and felt growing up has changed?  Have you ever asked yourself this question?  When did it happen? When did I change?  When did I become her (or him)?  I'm talking about, When did I become my mom?

Rewind:
I am going to go back a littlebit to explain what I mean.  When I was a child my mom was aweful... She was the type of mom that made me do the stupidest things..  She made life hard on a kid... I mean, how dare she make me eat those yucky veggies, brush my teeth, do my homework..  The worst of things was when she made me clean my room.  She was a monster! 
                                            
                                                               
I remember when I would come home with a bad grade, talk back to her or just not do what I was told, she would ground me. Why would anyone do that to their child. She obviously didn't love me.  Did I mention how stupid she was? She didnt understand anything I was going through.  If she did she would have let me do what I wanted to do!  My sister was her favorite.  She was the perfect kid.. Mom gave her EVERYTHING... Why did she bother having me, she should have just has April first...  (April, you are not allowed to comment on this part).   When I have kids, I will show her how to be a parent.  I will do things differently.  I'll show her...






Fast Forward:

Now, I am a mom of 3.  I first noticed the change about 3 years ago.  It was a small thing really.  Taylor (age 13) came up to me and asked if she could walk around the mall with her friends. I said no.. I didnt even have to think about it.  This conversation became a big ordeal.  There was screaming. Then it happened:   

Tay: (yelling) "My friends parents let them do it"
Me: (yelling)  "I'm not your friends mother"  

I stopped immediatly after saying this and went to my room.  I caught my breathe and whispered to myself. Lord, Please don't make me start to think that she might be right.  My mom just cant be right.  Several things have happened since then that have been just as bad.  I make my kids eat their veggies, brush their teeth and do their homework.  And yes, I even make them clean their room.  I have been known to say "Because I said so".  When Tay responded that because is not an answer, I calmly explained to her that "I am the mom, and since I make the rules, because is all of the answer she needs.

So Mom, now, I am the stupid one. You really did know (almost) everything. I however, know nothing..  If you dont believe me just ask Tay...

Thats all it takes...

Flashing lights.  Screaming.

"Help me, Somebody, Anybody. Why arent you listening to me?"

"He's jammed between the car and the sign."

"We're going to have to cut him out"

"Get the oxygen on him"

"Has anyone seen my baby? Thats his car."

"Im standing right in front of you, why can't you see me? That guy is dead, I'm alive. Why aren't you helping me?"

"Wait! Is that me? How?"

"NO! This is not happening. How can I be there, when I'm right here?"

"This isn't right, I was careful. I stopped early."

"It was just a few harmless drinks"


*Bloggers note: This is my entry for @velvetverbosity 100 word challange. The word is harmless.
http://www.velvetverbosity.com/

Tattoos Anonymous

I think I might have an addiction.  This isnt something that therapy can help me with, not something that rehab can help with.  Its just something that has to be, something that I have to learn to live with.

Hello, My name is Deana and I am addicted to tattoos.

I got my first tattoo in October of 2008.  I was scared out of my mind. I hate, hate, and hate pain.  Lance reassured me that it would not hurt.  I told him that he was crazy.  I choose to get the chinese symbol for love on my right thigh.  I remember sitting in the chair, squeezing his hand and almost crying. Then the tattoo artist started. About 10 seconds after he started, I let go of Lance's hand and said "is that all?, That dosen't hurt."  I knew at that time I had to have another one.

                                                                

It took me awhile to decide what I wanted the next one to be.  I looked, and looked. Then one day I went to the tattoo shop with Lance.  I saw a beautiful butterfly that the artist had drawn. Thats what I wanted.  This one was placed between my shoulder blades. It had the initals of my three daughters on it.  I knew I had to have another one. 

                                                                         

I knew what I wanted.  I knew I couldn't afford it.  It had alot of detail.  I carried the picture around with me for over a year.  It was three flowers.  Two of the flowers are the same, with one bigger than the other.  They represent Taylor and Lyla.  They are alot alike.  The smallest flower represents Carly.  She is nothing like the other two.  The largest flower had Taylors favorite color purple around the outline.  The middle flower had Lylas favorite color blue shaded in, and the smallest flower has Carlys favorite color gold in the center.  I went to that tattoo shop that night expecting to just get something pretty and small. I showed the picture of my flowers to the artist and he said he would do it for less than half of what everyone else had quoted me.  As you can imagine, I was thrilled!  It was placed on my left shoulder.

                                                                           

I am already planning my next. Any ideas of what it should be?
Hello, My name is Deana and I am addicted to tattoos.

Fancy Awards and Such

Wow... I've never won anything before. This is exciting! Last night I was having dinner at Applebee's with my wonderful husband and I got an email from a new friend I met through twitter. Her name is Jana and her blog is http://janasthinkingplace.com/ .  The email said "click on this link I gave you an award". So thanks Jana! Now its my turn to return the favor.

The award is called the Stylish Blogger award: Here are the rules:

Here are my responsibilities:
1. Thank and link back to the blogger who gave you the award. (done)
2. Share 5 things about yourself.
3. Award 5 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.
So here are five things you’re all DYING to know about me.

1) I am a chef. I love to cook. I can take any recipe and change it into the yummiest thing you have ever tasted.  Try me: Tell me what you want to cook and I will send you one of my personal recipe's.
2) There are times when I am watching the Disney Channel and I look up and notice that the kids aren't in the room. Yes, I admit it.  I watch kids shows.
3) I cry over everything. Even commercials. The Publix ones are the worse. I start bawling as soon as they come on.
4) As of last night I have 3 tattoos! They are becoming an addiction for me. 
5)I have worked for a vet for 15 years now. (not the same one).  I love animals!


My bloggers I want you to check out that I’m awarding this prestigious award to are…

1) Bethy... http://raisingryder.wordpress.com/  She is a new mom to a handsome baby boy. She is learning as she goes and keeping a record of it! I know you will enjoy it as much as I do.

2) Melisa...  http://dreamersdream05.blogspot.com/ She is training to run the peachtree roadrace this July and she is keeping us up to day with her thoughts. The ups and the downs.  Enjoy!

3) John... http://counselorga.blogspot.com/ He is an actuall counselor and he writes alot on family and how to stay a family. He has a great point of view and he makes me think alot about the way I do things.

4)  June... http://juneinjanuary.blogspot.com/ . She is a wonderful woman with a terrific christian look at things. She is a very talented writer.

5) Tara... http://thinspiralnotebook.wordpress.com/ she's not new, but shes new to me! I look forward to reading her blogs as well as her 100 word entries.  I know you will love her!


Congratulations to all the winners! Enjoy your awards!

Really? Credentials?

                                                                                    

Ugh... The sound of the alarm going off couldn't have come at a worse time.  I have my best ideas when I'm sleeping.  As a struggling student, I need all the help I can get.  Mr. Cates, my pushy english teacher has decided we should become bloggers.  It dosent matter that I know nothing about computers.  One of his bright ideas is to have us do this silly 100 words blog.  He assigns a word that has to be used. This weeks word is credentials.   Goodness, I'm only in 8th grade. What will I ever use this junk for anyway?



Bloggers note: This is my entry in @velvetverbosity #100words challange.. This weeks word is credentials.
http://www.velvetverbosity.com/

Wednesday, January 19, 2011