Let me start by saying that you should never overestimate the power of listening over speaking. I have found that some of the biggest arguments that I have been in throughout my life is when I have inturepted the person speaking and jumped to a conclusion about what they were saying. Come to think of it, I used to do that alot. I never really realized how much I listened with my mouth instead of my ears until a few years ago.
Some people have a very defensive personallity. I used to be one of those people. I would argue with a wall if I thought it was disagreeing with me. I knew I was right about everything. These type of people will not give up, even when its proven to them that they are wrong. I had a client at work tell one of my coworkers when he was checking out that he did not approve a treatment that was given to his pet. She pointed out to him that he had indeed signed a form giving permission to do that treatment. His exact response was "So, am I just supposed to start reading every thing I sign from now on?"
I have learned alot about human nature over the past few years.
1) People do not listen: They will say whatever they think you want to here to move on to the next step of whatever they need to do. This happens at work and in my personal life on a daily basis. I will have a conversation about something small with someone and when it is brought up again, that person will say "we never talked about that". When I remind them that we did, its somehow my fault that it was forgotten.
2) People have a hard time admitting fault: Have you ever noticed that when someone else does something wrong, or make a mistake (however small it might be) That there is always a undercover, dispicable, reason or person at fault for that mistake. It is NEVER the persons fault who actually makes the mistake. For example, If I were to type the sentance: i reelie wisch it wood sno on christmas. All of the typos and incorrect spellings would be because the person who used my computer before me turned off my spell check and auto corrections. Another example: This is a true story. Some guy rented an RV to take his family on vacation. While driving down the road, he put it on autodrive and went to the back to use the restroom. The RV wrecked. He sued the company because autodrive was supposed to drive for him.
Its funny how some things change when you grow up. I have learned that just because I am right about almost everything, not everything is black and white. The person I am arguing with might be somewhat right as well. I would rather admit when I am wrong then to have it hanging over my head. If I say Im sorry, Im sorry. I dont say Im sorry to try and get you to apoligize and then when you dont say it , take my I'm sorry back.
I have also learned that its ok if Im wrong sometimes, that doesnt make me any less of a person. There are some people in my life that just can't admit when they are wrong, and if they do admit that, the reason they are in the wrong is usually because of something I did. (go figure). An example.. Im truely sorry I said or did this, but you......... whenever the apology has a but in it, it becomes meaningless.
It time for the adults in this world to grow up: the point of this blog and my future blogs is this:
I make mistakes. I am only human. I cry at stupid tv movies. I forget things. I get sick. I screw up. I do stupid things. But in the end... I am worth it.
yes you are. Merry Christmas. Is this about me forgetting the burrito wraps the other day?
ReplyDeleteYep. and it was all the cashiers fault, right?
ReplyDeleteI still have problems interrupting people, and yes, it causes a lot of misunderstandings. Maybe that could be my New Year's goal.
ReplyDeleteI have interrupting issues too. And I have been working on the "but" thing for about 5 years. I was told in a training class that even if you agree with someone, saying "but" negates everything you previously said and all they hear is the disagreement. It is so hard to kick that habit.
ReplyDeleteLike your bloggity-blog!